Getting Healthy Weblog

Just another weblog

A Lapse in Life June 16, 2008

*I have changed my main blog title.

As you have noticed it has been since May 27th since I have last written.  It’s amazing how life might drop a rock in your pond and instantly, there seems to be a ripple effect that disturbs the calm waters!

My husband and I had to go and get my mother from her last work situation, as a caregiver, because the lady thought that my mom had dementia or Alzheimer’s.  My mother was open enough to go and seek assistance from a geriatric psychiatrist, in order to properly diagnose her condition.  Fortunately, after a couple of visits, he felt she had some memory problems and ADD but he didn’t feel she had dementia or Alzheimer’s.

Mom has been living with us a little over a month.  It has not been easy getting used to someone else living, eating, showering, sleeping in your home – even if it is your mom.  Trying to be the middleman between my mom and my husband is a very difficult position to be in.  But there was no other decision, I want to be there for my family – no matter what!  Not every situation in life that is presented to us is going to be easy.  So I have decided to look at her situation – getting a proper diagnosis, not having a job, not having a home, not having much money as a process to work through.  Same with her moving into our home.  It’s all a process and it’s okay!

In working with my mother’s situation (and my boys being out of school for the summer break) I have neglected my own momentum that I had in getting healthy.  I was on a great routine of working out three mornings a week after dropping the boys off at school and going straight to the YMCA.  I haven’t been in a long time.  Now I need to find a new routine, that includes my boys, and going back to the gym.

I really really need to also concentrate on my portion sizes and sugar intake.  I never seem to feel full.  I love eating healthy foods – vegetables, turkey, chicken, drinking lots of water, etc.  I try to eat a minimal amount of beef, dairy, sweeteners, fried food, caffeine, etc.  But I have got to cut, what I do eat, way back.  It’s really hard when you feel so hungry and that you feel like you have an empty hole that needs to be filled up and there’s no top on it!  After a meal, I get a craving of a small sweetie afterwards.  But the small sweetie turns into a handful!  I believe my sugar cravings have lead to the yeast infections that I have been getting right before my period.  Hormone imbalance, yeast infection all happens before I am supposed to start.  I can tell when I am about to start because I get bad craving for salsa, salty foods and chocolate.

I saw a picture of myself at my boys’ baseball game and I feel like I look like a two ton whale.  I, personally, don’t feel that I look that bad.  But when I see the photos, it’s horrible.  My chest has become so big that my arms seem to go further out on the sides like a gorilla!  I’m not putting myself down, I’m just trying to find the words to describe what it looks like.

I have considered the Lap Band surgery but I need to do further research on it with my insurance, previous patients, different facilities, recovery time, etc.  I’m afraid that I still won’t feel full and the Lap Band procedure won’t work for me.  This is how strong the need to eat is for me.  Maybe it’s all in my head and I should try hypnosis first.  When I find out more information, I will let you know.

Basically, what it comes down to is getting back into my routine and to continue the momentum I started last month.  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it……..


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